Regret
by othalwaysandforever23
Summary: You regret what you said. Those words weren't hers to have. You just wanted to make love special again. Mentions of LP. Almost BL. Oneshot.


**Disclaimer: **One Tree Hill does not belong to me. If it did, I'd never let Leyton happen in Season 6.

**Ships: **Mentions of LP. Almost BL.

**A/N:** These are basically my thoughts on what should have gone through Luke's head after the "Pretty Girl" incident. I'm sure you all know what I'm talking about, but just to clarify, in the 1940's episode, Lucas calls Peyton "Pretty Girl" on the phone and "Pretty Girl" was always his name for Brooke. Also, there's a vague mention of episode 3x07 with the scene where Rachel says if Brooke's the one for Lucas then he should make a shot blindfolded and he makes it. Set the morning after the 1940's episode: 6x11. Luke's POV. I hope you like it, cuz I'm not very satisfied with it.

_You're at the river court._

_It's raining._

_You're feet splash against the ground as you begin to pace._

_*ring*_

_*ring*_

_Your phone is ringing._

_It's Peyton._

_*ring*_

_You decide to answer it._

"_Hey, pretty girl." You reply casually._

_There's no answer on the other line._

"_Hello, Peyton? Are you there?" You ask._

_A worried squint makes its way onto your face._

"_Um, hey Luke." A raspy voice answers. You're heart skips a beat._

"_Brooke?" You ask softly._

"_Yeah, it's me." She has a formal tone in her voice._

"_I'm sorry." You tell her._

_You hear nothing but silence._

"_I didn't mean to call you that, I... I thought you were Peyton."_

_After a pause, she answers._

"_No, it's okay. She's you're pretty girl now, Lucas."_

_You want her to take it back._

"_No, she's not. I didn't mean to call her that, it just slipped." You try to reassure her._

"_You two are meant to be, Lucas."_

_You hang up on her._

_Thunder rumbles through the air._

_Suddenly, you're holding a basketball._

_You close your eyes and spin around a couple times. There's something suddenly covering your eyes. It's a blindfold._

_You shoot._

_The ball swishes through the hoop and bounces on the ground, spraying you with cold water._

"_She's the one for me."_

_You made it, just like before._

_*ring*_

_*ring*_

_You sigh. Is Brooke calling you back? What can you possibly say?_

_You take off the blindfold, and take out the phone._

_It reads: __**Pretty Girl**__._

_You just stare at it, like it's a plague._

_You recklessly throw your cell phone through the air. It lands harsh on the court. A deep crack appears across the screen._

_But it's still ringing._

_You look around frantically. No one else is there. It's just you, the rain, and a broken cell phone._

_The ringing gets louder._

_*RING*_

_*RING*_

_The noise vibrates deep in your ears._

_*RING*_

_*RING*_

_Suddenly, you can't breathe. Water is filling up your mouth, your eyes, your ears. A flash of red is coating your vision. The ringing gives a deafening shrill and..._

You wake up.

The sun is bright, your heart is pounding, and the alarm is blaring.

You grab the closest thing to you, and throw it at the alarm.

It gives a faint beep, then crashes.

You sigh peacefully and pull the warm covers back over your head.

You can feel life tugging you, so you get up and start getting ready.

Peyton isn't home, but you figure she's at her label. You should call her just in case, but a deep feeling of guilt is embedded into your stomach.

_Pretty Girl._

You've been avoiding her, your pretty girl.

You should go see her.

As you pass your bedroom, you see what you threw at your alarm clock. It's your second book. The one that everyone insists is about Peyton. The book is a jumble of papers. The binding is broken. It's a giant mess covering your floor.

You run out your front door and slam it behind you.

***

When you pull slowly into Brooke's driveway, you're overcome with the same sense you always get when you're about to see Brooke. This is why you avoid her.

Whenever you're around her, she's constantly reassuring you that you and Peyton are meant to be. She's always informing you of the positives of the relationship, how much Peyton loves you, and how you and Peyton have a great epic love. She does this all while you're trying to restrain yourself from telling her that she's wrong, that you and her have the great epic love.

It gets tiring.

You always lie convincingly and agree with her, so she stops obsessing over it.

You wish you could tell her that you almost called her that night. You wish she would just know how much you care about her. You wish that she knew that you love her.

You know how angry she'll get when you tell her. You know how long you've let her believe that Peyton's the one. You also know that you love Peyton too. You just don't love her the way you used to, the way you thought you still did.

For the past weeks, you've basically been pretending that Peyton is Brooke. You started acting silly with her. You had a game with her in the house where you split it in half with tape. You and Peyton have never acted like that. It's so out of character for you two. You even called Peyton a name that you made specifically for Brooke.

_Pretty Girl._

You regret what you said. Those words weren't hers to have.

You just wanted to make love special again.

***

When Brooke answers the door, you almost think she's an angel.

She's wearing a white shirt and white shorts. Her lips are striking, bright red, and fierce.

Your breath stops and her face takes on a surprised expression.

"Lucas, hi." Brooke breathes out. She looks you up and down, like you're an image that might disappear.

Your reply comes easily. It's short, sweet. It's a shock.

"Hey, pretty girl."

Her eyes go wide, her body rigid.

Then, the door is in your face.

Brutal panic takes over.

"Brooke!" You knock on the door repeatedly.

"Brooke!" Your fists shake the door.

"I'm sorry!" You stop pounding.

"I'm sorry." You whisper.

You shake your hands through your hair and sit defeated on her porch.

You regret it all.

You regret kissing Peyton in that library the day of the shooting.

You regret allowing Brooke to believe that you still loved Peyton.

You regret telling Peyton that she's the one you wanted when all of your dreams come true.

You regret calling Peyton to go to Vegas, to marry you.

You regret letting Brooke go.

The door behind you squeaks open hesitantly.

"You know your squint has probably burned a hole in my lawn." Brooke attempts a joke.

Your head shoots back to look at her.

You stand and try to come closer to her.

She backs away.

"I'm sorry." You dare to appologize.

Her mouth is set to a firm line.

"Brooke, I'm so sorry." You tell her honestly.

She lets you continue.

"It's just that—"

Her stare is deep. Her eyes are full.

"I needed you to know." You take a deep breath.

"I need you to know that you are my pretty girl. I need you to know that I called Peyton that last night, and I didn't mean it. I will never mean it."

She isn't looking at you anymore. Her gaze has dropped to her feet. You tilt her chin up in your hands.

Hot tears are sliding down her face. Her eyes are glazed with built up anger, with built up love.

"I need you to know that I'm in love with you." You speak with all of your heart.

Suddenly she can't hold it in anymore.

She pushes you away, hard.

"No." Her words are intense and malicious.

"Not this time Lucas. You can't do this now. You don't have the right to just do this any time you want!"

She's shaking her head passionately.

"You're with Peyton, Luke. You love her!"

It's your turn to shake your head.

"I was going to call you Brooke. It was supposed to be you. I wanted to marry you."

Your own eyes are filling up.

"I just thought it would be easier this way. I knew Peyton would say yes to me. I thought—"

"You thought what, Lucas?! You thought I would say no?! You thought that I don't love you?!?"

Her eyes blur and she puts a hand up to her mouth to stop a sob.

"God, Luke. I've always loved you."

You both stand, paralyzed.

"I can't do this Lucas." Her voice is tight.

"But, I lov—"

"No. You're in love with Peyton." She spits the words out venomously.

You can feel the rage boil throughout your entire body.

"I need you to be in love with Peyton!"

She's crying again.

"I can't do that to her, Luke. She's my best friend."

You're resolve softens before you speak again.

"She did it to you."

Her tears cease.

"I know."

You squint at her, confused.

"I'll never put her through the pain that I went through."

You look at her intently.

"I regret putting you through that pain, Brooke."

Then, you kiss her.

The kiss is ferocious. You're lips meet hers in searing intensity. At first, she struggles against you, but she eventually gives in to the passion. Her arms are crushing around your neck. Your fingers grip her waist. It's quick, angry, perfect.

It's over.

It's the last kiss.

It's your turn to feel that pain.

She looks at you. You know she wants you to feel closure, but all you can feel is longing.

Before she closes the door, you say one more thing before you return home to find Peyton asleep from an entire 24 hours at work in your bed.

"Brooke."

She glances at you lovingly one last time. You're eyes flicker between her powerful hazel eyes and dazzling red lips.

"You'll always be my pretty girl."


End file.
